Festive Babies

Recovered? or are we still rolling about on the floor in a Christmas lunch daze?

Festive times bring with them festive amounts of eating, and although I ate my weight in cherries, brie and roast lamb, I have successfully decreased my food baby with a jaunt around Lake Daylesford.

Yep, I was a yuppie for a day, nibbling at the boathouse in imitation Ray Bans and my lumper tied nonchalantly around my shoulders.

Back to the original day of bad jokes and backyard cricket, I received a hikers pack from my parentals. YAY! Watch out southern parts of Asia and certain cheap European countries, I'm on my way!!

It's like a christening gift, one of these packs. One you get one, it's like you're a woman of the world in my family. So far all my siblings have gotten theirs, and travelled a lot of the globe in them. Now it's my turn...

So I leave you in your pudding comas with high spirits as I plan (with money I don't have) one of the most exciting and fulfilling/enlightening adventures of a lifetime!


...


And find me one of these...

- xx

Cowboys And Tea

See, here is where I write something witty or ravishingly hillarious..

Sorry, just not hitting me today.



One thing though, that I do love, is the absurd.

And while perusing the vast space that is the Internet (or more specifically YouTube) I came across this.

It's just so bad, it's good. I mean even the title screams "WTF?!"


You may have noticed (if you live where I do) that it's supposed to be summer. But weirdly I'm wearing a beanie and ugg boots. Why do you rob me of my glorious sunshine and sun-baking weather, global warming?!

Despite that, it has allowed me to brew up my own homemade Chai tea recipe. Want it? It's breathtakingly easy to make and surprisingly good.

To every tablespoon of tea leaves, you add:
1 heaped tsp of cinnamon
1/2 tsp of ground ginger
1/2 tsp of ground cloves
cadamon seed.. (depends what you like, remember they're very strong!)

mix it half and half with hot milk and add a teaspoon of honey for sweetness.

Voila!!.. enjoy

- xx


p.s. I want those teacups

... So Now What Do I Do?

Around the state, 50 000 students just received their first ATAR...

And I shall express my joy in the language of the future.. binary


01100101 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 01111001 00100000 01110011 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 00100000 01110000 01101111 01101001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01110010 01100101 01100101!!!!!!

It's exactly what I had hoped for, and almost exactly what I predicted.

And the binary bit? Just cos I could   =P



- xx

My Marionette

In this fast paced day and age, I miss certain things about the old world. Well I guess I can’t really say that I miss them because I’ve never really had the chance to experience them. But it’s the idea that counts right?

Back in the day, they didn’t exist to work. They lived life; they savoured moments and shared occasions that we barely have the time for these days.

There were once a moment in time where people travelled by train to different cities and appreciated the sights along the way, where a trip to the countryside was romantic through the pure natural beauty of it.

Where did that time go? Since when did we care only about careers and money? I don’t know whether it’s the Christmas spirit infecting my brain, but I really just want to soak in these next few weeks as much as I can.

I want to be swept from this high-speed life to somewhere quiet with new faces and where I can experience new things. Take control of your life like you are your own puppet master.

I need my own escape to that romantic old era. Can someone give me a lift?

- xx

Images from deviantart.

Rose Coloured Glasses

It's a disturbing truth that a person is more creative and innovative when they're in the darkest of places.

Why is it that a person needs to (generally) be in that dejected state of mind before they can really open up their ideas?

It seems that while life is taking away all you happiness/comfort, it's giving you the gift of artistic genius, sharing a little of its perfection with you as part of a compensation deal.

It's a bitter-sweet moment, when someone can sit and express life in its rawest form.

A moment that I feel is catching up on all of us...


- xx

Simple Pleasures Take Two

Close your eyes, don't say anything.

Just listen...

Famous, but a favourite.

Thank you George Winston.

-xx

Air To Breathe

Fuck you, and fuck her too.

Sorry, just digging the feel-good songs at the mo..

In other news, nothing has really changed. So I guess that doesn't make it news. It's like its the Anti-news, Jeze-news, Beezel-news, in any shape and form the arch enemy of "news".

I guess I might take this opportunity to put a little rant to you guys. I know that's probably the last thing you want to hear and its not really my style to get emotional or woe-y but I think it may have a few therapeutic benefits, so sit tight soldiers...

In the past four years where I've been, it seems that a certain mould has come to be placed on me by those around me. And I guess it's been stemmed from being the quiet one when I first came here, I mean,  "I-said-two-words-a-day" quiet. And because I kinda have a tendency to be a bit more down to earth or "serious" than those around me.

Gee, it sounds like I'm not suited to my friends.

But that's not the case here. It's more of a matter of that's not who I am. I've been set so securely like concrete in this mould of a person who won't laugh, who's not fun or a go-getter or someone who always wants to break up the good times by being too serious.

I just wish people would see it as sense, not a lack of sensibility.

I'm not like that mould, I don't want to be like that mould. But people seem to be giving me no air, and at the moment that's what frustrates me.

...........

Rant over!!

Enjoy the good times while they're here, don't let them pass.

- xx

Black Magic Woman

Summer (spring) is here ladies and gentlemen!

And I welcome it with open arms.

I've finished my high schooling and am now a completely unattached being. There's nothing to study for, and there's nothing that needs to be in. I can simply sit back and loll about. It's bliss.

But then again it's like the calm before the storm. Results are out on the 13th of December and then everything returns to hectic as everyone figures out what they're going to be doing next year.

Fingers crossed for Medicine in Tasmania.


Now that there's nothing to constantly stress me out, I've kinda turned bohemian and "love life". Not saying that its an undesirable way to be, I'm just thinking that its a nice/drastic change from the controlling-nervous-breakdown-stress monster that I was before.

Woo!

Holy shit, (sorry), but I just realised that I can now actually read a book that isn't a textbook!
Or maybe more importantly, write my book.

Yeah, that's right, I have a book on the brain. I've actually had it sitting there for a while but now I have some time to put it down on paper/microsoft word. Anyone that has the slightest connection to me knows that I eat books for breakfast.

Oh, and another great thing about summer? Friends, the beach and summer playlists.

-xx

Images from deviantart.

The Great Secret

As Socrates said long ago; "I know I am wiser than many others, because I am aware of my own ignorance, and they are not."

I have left you a list of books to read, but the world about you is very antagonistic to you. A woman who thinks is an outcast. The average young man is afraid of her, and so she goes on her way in a solitary state; and few young women can stand that. We are sadly human, all of us, and if the price of knowledge is to sit alone on the Olympian heights, we are not prepared to pay it...

You really do find the most... enlightening things, in forgotten literature.

-xx

I Feel You Moving

Just behind my back, at the edge of my eyes..

Hey blog-people-he-she-its...

I've been up in the bush for the weekend and the simple change of scenery can alter your whole perspective. I mean, just sitting up here with my old man and the way he lives life is so different from 80km down the road.

It was so refreshing to wake up in the morning and have him say, "what do you want to do today? I know you've got maths and stuff, but let's do something different." Ahhh.

Say, I know people normally don't comment on the posts, and I'm not entirely sure that people read them at all, but I was hoping that one of you might reply to this one.

My query to you is this; what do you think it takes to achieve what you want?

I know the stock-standard reaction is "determination" but some ventures call for a different kind of quality. Do you have any examples, personally or otherwise? It'd be interesting to know.

That's all folks!

-xx

Backyard Of A Friends Place

I've seen better days

Put my face in my hands

Get down on my knees and I pray to God

Hope he sees me through to end...

Epitome of the Australian easy listening tunes.. thanks Pete Murray for the dreams of warmer days and good looking surfers.

Aka you.

-xx

Crying Shame

So much work to do, so little time!

Tomorrow I finish my week long lectures at Melbourne Uni to prepare myself for the end of year exams.

Sigh.

I'm going to walk out of my last exam crying, I don't care if I go all red and puffy, there will be tears. I even feel like crying just thinking about it.

And my goals seem to be slipping out of my reach faster than I think them up...

I miss human interaction. I miss simply having a debate over the larger things in life. I miss having time to myself.

I almost want to be old so I can retire early.

-xx

Furry Observations

If your cat sits with its eyes closed and sways from side to side, is it drunk?

-xx

Too Many Me

Ladies and gentlemen,

after a grueling thirteen years.

I AM FINISHED!

... fuck yeah.

-xx

Simple Pleasures

What a wonderful juxtaposition today was.

It was raining but sunny.

There was sad laughter.

And someone agreed with me.

The funny things that happen when you're not expecting them, that make a good day great....

-xx

Image courtesy of *ByLaauraa

"I'm not a musician, I'm a Trombonist"

Funny James, bagging his own instrument.








You know what one of the most amazing little guilty pleasure I have?





Grabbing a coffee by myself in a cafe.





Seriously, you don't have to make conversation, you don't have to wait awkwardly for other people. You just go in, order your 'kaffee', sit with a book, or your journal, or sketchbook, or if its raining you can sit an watch the droplets on the window...





Ahhh...





It's the best.

That trombone quote was completely unrelated.







-xx

Pencil Shavings

WHAAAA?!

Things keep going downhill and I don't know how to stop the ball from rolling!!

I think a few lunchtimes in the library should fix it.

And seeing all the art, photography, and graphics folios being hurriedly finished around me makes me wish that I had chosen different subjects. All this maths and science is finally getting to me after seven months.

What I would give to be able to use my creativity without thinking its time wasted. Ah, to get out my pencils and watercolours, and sit at my desk just letting my thought-process explode onto the page.

Year twelve is a bitch.

I just wish it would be my bitch.

-xx

Kawabunga

I want to be here in the sand, sun and surf...

Images can be found on deviantart.

-xx

"Sorry, Lost My Place.."

When I sat down to write this blog entry, I had a little trouble trying to figure out what I wanted to say. I've been through so much in the past week or two and to fit it all into a reasonably-sized post is just too hard.

I wish I had time to get myself organised. There's so much whizzing around on my plate that I'm physically breaking down in the effort to keep it stable.

About a week ago I went to a conference in Perth, and there we debated such things as refugees, discrimination, people's rights and freedoms, and what I could do as a youth in Australia.

It quite literally blew my mind.

To be surrounded by 86 intelligent and bold young people selected from all over Australia and New Zealand, and to engage in these sorts of discussions really made me stop and think every night, "Who am I?"

And every night I just didn't know the answer to it. I'd just sit on my bed in my room and stare at nothing, not knowing why I was in such an amazing movement of young people. I almost felt like an intruder there.

In our state delegation meeting on the last night, everyone went round and said what they thought was the best thing about the conference. When it came to my turn, I had to stop a moment because I was getting a little bit teary.

You know me, I especially hate getting teary and never to do it.

I thought something like a near death experience would be what it took to shake my belief in myself. I was so sure of who I was going there, I had formed opinions and solid friendships, and I knew where I was going in life.

But how unbelievably wrong I was!

I'm changed forever, and who would think that a simple series of discussions with like minded people for a week would do that.

I have a new direction. I have a new motivation. I have a new perspective. I am a new me.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Be inspired. Do more than what is possible.

- xx

An Imprisoned Freedom

What did Professor Higgins call Eliza Dolittle again? Oh, that's right, "you brazen hussy".

"Why is thinking something women never do?
And why is logic never even tried?
Straightening up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside?

Why can't a woman behave like a man?
If I was a woman who'd been to a ball,
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing,
Or carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
Why can't a woman be like me?"

Just kidding.

Getting comfy? Good. Here's the program for today.

Entrée of nerves, main course of incoherence with a side dish of fidgeting, and a wholesome dose of embarrassment for dessert.

I got up in front of 1500 people today and spoke with no notes or nerves. And yet I can't do one thing that matters.

I leave you with the high point of my week;

friend: "What was that you said?"

me: "Samantha Stoser is out of Wimbledon."

friend: "Oh, football...."

Smart chicken..

-xx

Image courtesy of ~tyt2000

Prologue Of The Cigar Divan

Found a nifty little book in a nifty little book shop in nifty little Maryborough.

It opened with...

"It is within the bounds of possibility that you may take up this volume, and yet be unacquainted with its predecessor: the first series of New Arabian Nights. The loss is yours- and mine; or to be more exact, my publishers'."

And then it continued to say some very profound things, all which were highly modern in thought...

"It depends," replied the salesman, withdrawing his cheroot. "The power of money is an article of faith in which I profess myself a sceptic. A hundred pounds would definitely support you for a year; with somewhat more difficulty you may spend it in a night; and without any difficulty at all you may lose it in five minutes on the Stock Exchange. If you are that stamp of a man that rises, a penny would be as useful; if you belong to those that fall, a penny would be no more useless. When I was myself thrown unexpectedly on the world, it was my fortune to possess an art; I knew a good cigar..."

"Fall to be a working man?" echoed Mr Godall. "Suppose a rural dean to be unfrocked, does he fail to be a major? Suppose a captain were cashiered, would he fall to be a puisne judge? The ignorance of your middle class surprises me. Outside itself, it thinks the world to lie quite ignorant and equal, sunk in a common degradation; but to the eye of the observer, all ranks are seen to stand in ordered hierarchies, and each adorned with its particular aptitudes and knowledge. By the defects of your education, you are more disqualified to be a working man than to be a ruler of an empire. The gulf, sir, is below; and the true learned arts - those which alone are safe from the competition of insurgent laymen - are those which give his title to the artisan."

- The Dynamiter, Robert Louis Stevenson and Fanny Van de Grift Stevenson

I think this Mr Godall is more than he seems.

- xx

An Inelastic Collision.

An inelastic collision is where the kinetic energy of a system isn't conserved. The energy before doesn't equal the energy after the collision due to some of the energy dissipating into different forms such as heat, sound and plastic deformation of the material.

It's been a while, aye?

There's something that's been plaguing my mind recently and no matter what I do it always seems to be at the very edge of my vision, the tip of my tongue.

I have more friends than I've ever had, I'm going well academically, I'm having reasonable success with things, everything is running stable at the moment, the gypsy woman didn't predict any impending doom to myself, or worse, financial troubles. And yet I don't know what's wrong.

It's like something is missing. A bit of my kinetic energy has been dissipated to somewhere I don't know.

I don't think I'm happy where I live any more. I think something's dissatisfying me for some reason, like something's not genuine. 

Any suggestions on finding the said "thing"? I'm open to anything. Except the lovey-dovey "getting in touch with your emotions" codswallop. That's just a no-fly zone.

It seems like a math problem to me....

And that's probably one of the reasons why I can't wait till I jet off to Perth in three weeks to the United Nations National Youth Summit. Should be rad.

But seriously, hit me up with your suggestions, this thing is really bugging me.

- xx

Image courtesy of ~ignasigju

One Night To Be Confused

Today I really wanted to tell someone how I felt.

But the thing that stopped me was the fear of being laughed at, an awkward moment or thought of as weird and rejected.

This got me thinking (in one of my many free periods) of why we don't make certain decisions.

And the main reason that jumped out at me was fear. We're afraid of what reaction we'll get, of what fate holds for us after we've chosen a certain path, of the consequences and the 'snowball' effect of things to come.

We have this image in our minds that the worst possible option will occur and that the risk is too great to sacrifice a little of our dignity, esteem or image.

What age is this that we're cautious about acting naturally? About expressing exactly what comes to mind, when it comes to mind? About love or hate or joy or sorrow?

It's the age of the conscious.

I have a friend who made a decision recently and I have never seen her so happy, so glowing and full of life.

So I say, take the courage to do and say what you want. There is where you'll find true happiness.

I should have done philosophy..

- xx

Take Courage For What You Do Not See

Because nothing's gonna hold you back

State the fact of what is in your heart

Take courage for what you do not see

And hope to be what everyone else is not.

These days I've been so depressing haven't I? I think a long-over-due apology is in order. And now with such an introduction, here it is;

I'm sorry.

No glitz or glamour, or fancy words that sound even slightly sarcastic. 

- xx

Fog Horns In The Morning

You know how you seem to have a person whom you're so comfortable with that you can sit together in a room and not have to say a thing? 

I had such a person, then lost them. But I think I might have just found one of those people again. They probably don't see it as a comforting silence but I just feel happy around them. I feel safe, the kind of safe a person feels when they're upset and a friend hugs them and tells them "I'm here".

And right now I feel like crying and smiling at the same time. It may be due to the song I'm listening to at the moment.

"Silence is the perfectos herald of joy. I were but little happy if I could say how much." - William Shakespeare

- xx

Image courtesy of ~marielliott

Pleuvoir!

Okay, I'm sorry, I'm obsessed.

But I can't help it! Coming from the country, I can't help but get wrapped up in the phenomenon! It even inspired me to write a little something...

"I skip up the last few steps to the veranda, the thick earthy smell that only accompanies the eucalyptus and red, Australian dirt filling my lungs. There's also the slight scent of red gum shavings and varnish lilting in the air courtesy of dad's woodshed.

A low, melodic rumble makes me stop in my tracks on the top step of the veranda. It builds in volume, then as quick as it was there, it disappears again. It makes me turn to look over my shoulder with caution though I knew it presented no threat. Even still, my eyes take in the guilty silence of the tall, skinny gums, packed so thickly they make it impossible to see more than a hundred meters ahead, so close together that when the breeze runs past their leaves will rustle ever so slightly, spreading the rumour of the weather to come.

Now standing on the top of the veranda, my body half turned, my eyes still transfixed upon the horizon, I feel the slightest change in the air. Its suddenly heavier, the light is darker and little raindrops fall to kiss the top of my head and my upturned palms. They're small in number at first, gradually building in impact till I move out into the open. Now they fall on my face, making me squirm as they pattern my skin unevenly. The breeze from the bush that was once muggy now has a new sense of crispness. It no longer feels musty and heavy but fresh and clean; a detox for my nose.

The momentary pause in the droplets strikes my curiosity and makes me turn up to the sky. Was that all that we were to receive? The most that mother nature saw fit for the drought stricken land? The clouds look like they had heard my silent question and were debating their answer. When I decide no more is to come, another low, tumultuous and enchanting rumble emanates from above and before I have time to respond, the heavens open upon my unprotected head. I squeal, not in fright but surprise and joy, jutting out my tongue to taste the tannin flavoured rain before tearing up the steps to cover.

And from there I wipe the water from my cheeks with my sleeve, a silly grin plastered on my face, sitting in my fathers wicker chair as his fathers before him would have sat, watching the first storm of winter roll across the open bushland, washing away the red summer dust."

Avec l'amour, pour toujours et un jour,

- xx

Excuse my bad pronunciation.

Image courtesy of *BELLAVISTA2

Life Summed Up By A Library

My love of the written word, in all its forms, is a universally accepted fact amongst my family and close friends.

And that's why, when I look at my robustly stocked bookcase, I see some of the most precious moments of my life.

There's children's stories, adventure novels, goosebumps, sci-fi, romance, drama and horror, mystery and tragedy, poetry and legends.

I simply love a good story. A wonderful tale that plays with your imagination and emotions, that pushes your ideas of what reality is.

It works in a similar way that music does. I get the same feeling from a beautiful poem as I do from Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Pas De Deux.

It's swells and dips, it's character and traits of the author/composer, it's all simply...... 

beautiful.

Oh, there has been some good news. I got some encouragement, off the staff at a café I absolutely love, to do an exhibition there. As they brought me coffee they seemed to like the sketches I did.

And I'm also reminiscing my ballerina days... just maybe, perhaps, I could have another crack...

Love life, even when it's a shithole.

- xx

Image courtesy of ~EdenAmar

Grams (Of Effort) Per Litres (Of Love)

Chemistry joke, referring to the different units of concentration (g/L). Thanks for sitting through my nerd moment, moving on!...

Recently I put in thousands of kilograms of effort into something and so far have received zero love. Which, if effort was a solid substance, means I'm left with a mound of stale, crumbly and unnecessary effort. And it got me thinking about how much is taken for granted, how some things people expect from others without even the idea of giving something back crossing their minds.

This is me rambling, feel free to tune out.

I guess what I'm aiming at saying is do these people deserve the good deed/ sacrifice/ the politeness of others? I was hoping for a little love in return, even some simple understanding, but it seems maturity is lacking in my situation. Here's hoping that they realise the magnitude of what I've done for them hits home before they do this to someone else.

So I set a mission to you.

If you choose to accept.

The details are as following; try and do one good deed for someone before the week is out. And not just something so you can tick it off your list, really mean it when you do it. The feeling you get is phenomenal. And who knows, maybe someone might return the favour.

There, now isn't that corny of me?

Hi-ho silver, away!

- xx

Little Bit O' Ell Oh Vee Ee

New York I love you, but you're bringing me down...

What I would give to be in cold NY right now. 

I'm going to go ahead and be completely hypocritical right now and say I hate dramatics and that I'm going to try and keep this post simple.

The top three things I want right now;

1. One of those massive coffee's from De'Oro

2. A little more rain.

3. A copy of Charles Darwin's most famous work.

The top three things I need right now;

1. One of those massive coffee's from De'Oro

2. A night of undisturbed sleep

3. A hug. A really really big hug. 

New York is sounding blissful right now...

- xx

Find Those Umbrellas

It's early on a Sunday morning.... what the hell am I doing up?

Anywho, it seems like my prayers have been answered. Remember a few weeks back I asked for rain and for it to be possible that I get to wear a coat? Well the sky's are a healthy looking gray from dawn till dusk.

Rain has poured from the heavens without me completing a rain dance, and with it has come my opportunity to don my coats again and not look like a Siberian lost in a desert.

Although there may be warnings of flash floods, I say move all perishables above sea level and frolic in this wonderful phenomenon. 

Dance in it, laugh in it, get thorough soaked in it, whatever takes your fancy.

All my troubles are like the dirt on the pavement, accumulated after week on week of dry weather, now being washed away in a matter of days.

Just simply enjoy it.

- xx


Image courtesy of ~sarageotz

Untitled?

One of the rudest things ever, I find, is to be patronised by your friends.

Where sometimes they can be so condescending, arrogant and stubborn that they simply expect you to do whatever they say and agree with every pigheaded opinion that comes from their mouth?

And when they treat you like your worth nothing to them but expect the highest loyalties in return? No thank you. 

I don't think I can stand much more, to be honest.

Go to my happy place, go to my happy place...

-xx

Image from Phildeloup

Sweet Simplicity

I was sitting and waiting one evening for a phone call and I happened upon a very big bookcase. It was quite late at night, nearly midnight, when I came across a book by the man who does the cartoon Leunig that regularly appears in The Age.

When I read this I just silently said to myself, "Yes."

The poem I was reading didn't actually pose a question to me, but stated such a great and wholesome truth that I couldn't really think of anything else other than to agree with it.

I hope you enjoy it:...

Homes are quietly burning

Madness on the march

Lies move unresisted through the land

We stand by helpless as our lives are occupied

Faster than we understand

Collaborators wave their little flags

As ugliness takes over;

"Make a friend of ugliness," they say,

"Learn the language. Then you won't get hurt."

But you will - 

No matter how you crawl;

A knock on the door one night

A scuffle in the hall

Your heart rubbed in the dirt

"Alright!" you scream you indecision,

"Take the children - but leave the television!"

So you stand by useless

As childhood is trashed;

Innocence reviled;

The truth is bashed.

The home and the idea of home is set on fire

And still you stand by

As the goodness in your culture burns

And you stand there in the glow

Going, going ~ going with the flow.

Ah yes, The Flow! heaven help us.

One day you might be asked,

"How come you did not know what was going on?

Why did you not fight?"

"Fight?" you'll say,

"that's a thought that never occured."

That very word brings tears.

It will dawn on you, after all those painful years,

That to fight is one of the most

Beautiful, simple

And useful ideas.

From Leunigs' "Goatperson and Other Tales"

- xx

An Honourary XY

Over the recent space of time, I seem to have shifted my circle.

I am weirdly at ease around them. 

I spend waaaay too much time in their company, in study periods and class, and laugh far too much at their sexist jokes.

It appears, ladies and gentlemen, I am becoming 'one of the boys'.

Minus their 16-square affinity.

- xx

What A Lovely, Traumatic Start To A Day..

I experienced something different today, and it had me thinking about it throughout the day.

My mother and I were driving down a very busy road and there were two ducks and their ducklings crossing the road ahead of us. Then an on-coming car promptly ran over 3 of the 6 ducklings. Because my mother is a Vet, I pleaded her to stop and see what she could do for them, but sadly one was already splattered over the bitumen.

Dodging a truck she got the other two off the road but the second immediately died in her hands, and the other with broken legs wasn't going to make it either. Out of humanity to the struggling duckling, mum wrung its neck.

This episode that happened in about five minutes, and a post from the satorialist, put a lot of things in perspective for me today. 

The way people act towards each other, the easy way in which we take our safety for granted. It just doesn't seem right, in a sense.  If things were natural, we wouldn't have the supremacy we feel, and our respect for others wouldn't be just to get into his/her pants. 

What ever happened to manners, chivalry and common decency?

Here's hoping.

- xx

Work Policy

I guess I never really put an aim to this blog, it kinda just happened out of a notion to express myself. Urgh, gosh that sounds corny, "express myself". Blahg.

Looking back on all my blog posts, I seem to have gone along the theme of posting my thoughts on something that has happened that's been bugging me or got me feeling all philosophical-like. There's also a spattering of photo's, mostly taken by others and a few shoddy ones from myself. 

And then I noticed that I haven't posted any of my artwork.

Here are some random sketches from my current working sketchbook, some have been taken to with a fine liner, others' are simply done with a pencil.

an assortment of characters; pencil + fine liner


bus stop; pencil


hand study and headphones for Lucy; pencil + fine liner

inspired by Beatrix Potter; pencil

Au Soleil...

Don't get me wrong, I love a good dose of sunshine. It makes swimming in an outdoor pool a helluva lot more fun.

But I miss snuggling under a big doona, a warm fuzzy blanket and sipping at coco. I miss wearing a nice coat, accidentally getting caught in the rain and having to dry-out in front of the heater.

I also miss being able to press my nose to the cold glass of the window and watch the droplets of rain patter against the pane as my breath makes foggy shapes.

- xx

A Weird Kind Of Love

He always finds the sunny spot.

I think I've found my soul mate in the form of a cat.

My dear Murphy.

- xx



Photo's were taken on my phone, so excuse the bad quality...

It's Me, Not You

I'm sorry dear sun, we have to end our love affair for a while.

Ow.

 

















- xx

Conflictions

Sometimes don't you just feel like giving up?

I'm in the middle of allegiance warfare. Who do I give my first attention to? Who do I owe loyalty to? Should I think of others first then myself in these matters, or is it the other way round?

Right now I don't know whether I should stay as uncomfortable as I am to keep the peace or shed some of it and say something. Gah! I guess if it keeps going then I have to say something, it's gonna drive me nuts.

And that got me thinking; loyalty can give someone strength and make them happy but it can also offend and upset. Then again, it all relies on the context and the status of the loyalty. If it's kept, then it can be a beautiful bond, a feeling straight from the heart... but if it's broken then it turns into something ugly and hurtful, because there's nothing worse than losing faith in something you trust. 

I guess that's why most of us avoid giving our loyalty to a single thing or person, because it's hard to regain once it's lost. I mean, it's the basis of all friendships, love, family, club or anywhere that gives a sense of being. Without it, all these things just wilt and cease to be anymore. Without loyalty, a person is just a sheep, following what others do because it's the easiest, or taking no loyalty at all because they're afraid. 

And what kind of life is that, where you're afraid, and determined to be invisible or not stand out in any way? 

I know I may seem harsh but when a person has a beautiful life and is still 'sitting on the fence' because they don't want to offend or lose something or someone, then they might just find others loyalty in them waning, and even end up losing everything.

 

- xx

Image (c) Cosmin Marica

Brain Activity

"Oh for a life of sensations rather than thoughts."

- John Keats

When things get rough, you tough it out. So that's what I'm doing; what I do the best. Being tough.

And how come I'm not only bombarded with my own problems, but the predicaments of others as well? Who do I look like, Mother Teresa?

- xx