As Socrates said long ago; "I know I am wiser than many others, because I am aware of my own ignorance, and they are not."
I have left you a list of books to read, but the world about you is very antagonistic to you. A woman who thinks is an outcast. The average young man is afraid of her, and so she goes on her way in a solitary state; and few young women can stand that. We are sadly human, all of us, and if the price of knowledge is to sit alone on the Olympian heights, we are not prepared to pay it...
You really do find the most... enlightening things, in forgotten literature.
-xx
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